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VIEW: If it walks like a duck ... —Kamran Shafi

It will do General Musharraf no good at all to continue to recklessly put his lot in with spurious politicians who depend on the army and the ‘agencies’ to rig them into power. The country is bound to suffer if it continues to be rent asunder by divisive actions that come from bad and self-aggrandising advice by sycophants and hangers-on who would lose their own parliamentary seats in a genuinely fair election

You know, gentle reader, while there are nineteen things about the present junta that anger one no end — its ineptness; its wastefulness; its mendacity; its double-facedness, and so on and on — what makes one absolutely livid is that it takes us lay citizens for complete bloody fools.

The dark prince of The Undisclosed Secure Location, the brilliant Dubya’s leading hatchet man and Vice President of the United States, Dick Cheney-of-the-Permanent-Sneer, was suddenly in Islamabad the Beautiful just the other day.

Every one and Charlie’s aunt knew that he was in the Citadel of Islam for one purpose and one purpose only, and that was to kick ass in no uncertain terms. Yet we are asked to believe he did no such thing: our FO, which snoozes in the suites of the Hotel Scheherezade, came out with a rather severe “we take dictation from no one”, and our ambassador to the United States said to the Washington Post that Cheney and Musharraf had a “pleasant meeting” (thank you, Mr Khalid Hasan).

While the mere fact that the FO insisted Pakistan does not take dictation and General Durrani insisted the meeting was a pleasant one shows that it was indeed dictated to and that the meeting was not pleasant, how General Durrani knew, within six hours of the meeting, please note, that it was ‘pleasant’ baffles the imagination. For the very simple reason that our FO is notoriously and widely known for keeping its outposts most ill informed and ignorant of anything and everything until much after the event, or when the sky falls on its head. Did it, this time?

The pictures that adorned the front pages of our newspapers told a very different story, however, from the brave statements of the FO and its representative in Washington DC. There was The Sneer sneering away, trying to cover it up with an uneasy and contrived smile; and there was the Commando at what seemed like a very stiff attention indeed, chest out, stomach in, shoulders thrust back, head straight. I mean c’mon ‘core-professionals’ — if it walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck, it is a damned duck!

Well, little wonder that, may I repeat myself, everyone and Charlie’s aunt read the situation for what it was: a firm talking down to; a hard rap on the knuckles; a “you’d better, or else”. Little wonder because the past several months are witness to tens of news leaks and stories; think-tank reports; depositions before the US Congress, and plain public statements by various American government officials including the departing head of US intelligence services John Negroponte, all highlighting the American government’s growing impatience with what it perceives as the Pakistani junta’s ambivalence in fighting the Taliban and, now alarmingly, Al Qaeda too.

Let me hasten to add that it is a matter of no joy at all to see the man who sits atop the government of our luckless country (no matter how vehemently one may disagree with him) humbled, for it humbles the country itself. It is extremely painful to see our country bad-mouthed by everyone including Charlie and his aunt; more than anything else it is terribly distressing for any Pakistani to even countenance an attack upon his country by a foreign power.

But the news is bad my friends, very bad indeed. For no matter how many mealy-mouthed and silly statements the government puts out, the fact of the matter is that dark clouds of strife and war are gathering on our several horizons. Why, leave the impending American attack on Iran, that will destabilise us no end, aside for a moment, the US air force has just yesterday reserved the right to attack our tribal areas to “get” Al Qaeda if we don’t. Momentarily, The Mother of All Destabilisations, eh?

We must, therefore, urgently address the issue of what to do immediately to retrieve something of the alarmingly deteriorating situation. The more I think of it the more I am convinced that, as pleaded many times in this column, there is only one way out of the very sticky situation Pakistan has been thrust into by our self-serving establishment. And that is national reconciliation, across the board, across political lines, across provinces and languages, across cultures, across sects, across religions. General Pervez Musharraf must immediately realise that the arrogance with which he has thus far conducted himself will do no one, particularly himself (for it is he that sits in the hot seat) any good at all. That he must try and bring the country together like never before so that it may, as one, stand up to those who might do it harm.

I know I am repeating myself, but no matter how incredibly brave a Commando he considers himself, it will do him no good at all to continue to recklessly put his lot in with spurious politicians who depend on the army and the ‘agencies’ to rig them into power. More than himself, for he is just another mortal like you and I, the country is bound to suffer if it continues to be rent asunder by divisive actions that come from bad and self-aggrandising advice by sycophants and hangers-on who would lose their own parliamentary seats in a genuinely fair election.

Talking specifically of the tribal areas, which while it is just one of the massive issues his junta faces is a most urgent one, Musharraf must understand that the problems there are mainly political, that the situation would not have become so dire if the army had not arrogated to itself the job of the political authorities, and that if any headway is to be made there it has to be made through a political process by political people.

In this particular regard, he must understand that a popular political party that has strong roots among the mass of the people of the country will have a higher standing in the eyes of the people generally, than one made up of time-servers and turn-coats. I mean the people of the tribal areas would have more respect for, and listen more closely to, someone like (let us not be afraid to name him) General Naseerullah Babar of the (let us not be afraid to name it) People’s Party than they would for someone like, say, Chaudhry Shujaat of the King’s Party.

Lets get on with it then, for Time waits for no one, not even great big Commandos.



PS: Because Daily Times is not distributed in Wah and environs (despite Greater Wah being Pakistan's seventh-largest urban area) I have only now (Wednesday, 4 PM) seen Ejaz Haider's 'Woof bloody woof' when I received Sunday's issue from a kindly friend from Islamabad who sends me his old copies. What's this I read about Ejaz giving up writing The Other Column? I protest, sir, most vehemently; his column is a joy to read. Throw your weight about, Mein Editor; get the man back no matter what it takes.

Kamran Shafi is a freelance columnist. He can be contacted at kshafi1@yahoo.co.uk

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